oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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