I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
