All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
