What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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