Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
