Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Enjoy the penises
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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