dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
