I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
