erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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