Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
