idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
