That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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