Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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