My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
