That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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