***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
