I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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