If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
