everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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