i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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