Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
