he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
