I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
