He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Im part way to drunk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
