i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
