Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize