I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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