Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

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(330): View more from Ohio

Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope

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(630): View more from Illinois

his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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(224): View more from Illinois

Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

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(845): View more from New York

I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.

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(480): View more from Arizona

My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar

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