I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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