Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
