you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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