Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize