i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
