So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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