YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
