How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
