Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
