I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
