"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
