it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
