We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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