just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
