Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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