So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
