drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
