Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
