The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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