Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
there is puke in my bra ... again
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