It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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