I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
