Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
