i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
