I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
