If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm at about main and main street
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
