I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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