Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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