CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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